Fingers [Late 2018 Breakup] (Video)

Fingers is one of my top 5 all time favorite Zayn songs.

I feel like it’s one of his most genuine and straightforward songs, and it was born out of him going through a rocky time with someone when he wrote it. Meaning I think he wrote it and released it with a quick production and in real time. It was written and recorded in London in the summer of 2018 (confirmed by Zayn’s own press release.) That would be late summer when we saw Zayn in the UK celebrating Eid Mubarak with his family and Gigi (after the Zigi vacation that seemed to upset Harry, imo).

This is a very important point: He wrote and recorded Fingers while he was WITH Gigi. Meaning, it’s not about her. It’s not inspired by her. How could it be? Why would he be singing “if you want to let me know where you are, b, I can come and love you” if he was WITH her and just got back from vAcaTioN with her?? Just like those two heartbreaking songs he tweeted at the same time about a conflicted relationship. None of this makes sense for her, so it couldn’t have been referring to her.

(To read my theory about Zarry’s Late 2018 Breakup, click here!)

The lyrics to Fingers were so “Zarry” in nature that even the media and non-Zarries discussed theories of the song being about Harry.

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Fucked and I want ya
Looked and I loved ya
Stuck, now I need ya
Hopin’ I’d see ya
Touch and I feel how
Much can you see her, no
Hiding all your features, sliding down the filter
Show me, you just in the middle
Don’t be hiding what you thinkin’

I’ve been fucked and I want ya, I can’t even text ya
‘Cause my fingers ain’t working, but my heart is
If you wanna let me know where you hiding
I could come and love (I could come and love)
I could come and love (I could come and love ya)
I could come and love ya (I could come and love)
I could come and love ya (I could come and love ya)

These lyrics KILL me, especially the chorus. This is a haunting melody and just raw emotion. After MSG, you could almost feel the tension between them and how things seemed to be going south. They were slipping away from each other. This song is basically Zayn being desperate to reassure a lover who is fed up with him and having trouble “keeping restrained” (probably keeping restrained while Zayn was parading around with Gigi.)

“I know it’s taking all your strength to keep restrained, cause you got different things replacing old feelings that you felt. I know you’ve seen it for yourself. Where’s the shame? No shame in what you need.”

In this lyric Zayn seems to be referencing the difficulty Harry is having being away from him, and that maybe Harry started to see someone else in the meantime because he couldn’t stand to be alone. Zayn understood that to some extent. “Where’s the shame? No shame in what you need.” Sounds like on some level, since Zayn knew he couldn’t give Harry what he needed at the time, he expected that Harry was getting it elsewhere.

I feel as though this song reveals a lot about the Zarry dynamic and where they were in late 2018 emotionally, which eventually led to their breakup; and subsequently songs like “Falling”, “To Be So Lonely”, and “Outside.” Here is a video on “Fingers” below!

To read my theory about Zarry’s Late 2018 Breakup, click here!